Seeing Your Children As If For The First Time
I am writing a book titled Don’t Fix Me, I’m Not Broken: Changing Our Minds about Ourselves and Our Children. It is a spiritual parenting book about healing ourselves rather than trying to fix our children. I just finished writing a section wondering what it would be like to see your child each day with fresh eyes as if for the first time.
Who would you be without your story of parenting a child with a label? Who would you be without the story of my child has autism, bipolar disorder, attention deficit disorder, cerebral palsy, any of the disability labels? Who would you be without the story of being a teacher of children with labels? What would happen if we met our children each day as if for the first time? Perhaps we would see with the eyes of love; perhaps we would see our children as whole with strengths and differences like any children. If we could see our children each day with fresh eyes without all the baggage of what the labels imply, perhaps all those struggles we’ve been having with our children will be seen differently. Perhaps our children will respond positively to being seen for what they are, rather than just seeing the label.
I know the reality of needing the label or diagnoses to get needed services. However if as parents and teachers we rely on the label to define our children, then we box them into a set of expectations that may or may not happen. And this box of expectations sometimes can become a self fulfilling prophecy. We can use the label to get needed services, but then it is up to us as parents and teachers to see past the label to the whole child, to be able to say to our children, “I see you, I see the truth of you.” Imagine what would happen if every day you saw your children with fresh eyes as if for the first time? Imagine the potential shimmering below the surface of each child unclouded by the preconceived assumptions based on the label. Imagine the gift of love for our children to see the radiance in them. Inspirational parenting and teaching would flow easily as a result.