God Within

I believe that God is in me as the sun is in the color and fragrance of a flower – the Light in my darkness, the Voice in my silence. Helen Keller

Believing that God exists in every living thing is so important in parenting a child labeled with a special need. Of course we believe that God is in our child, but to be truthful there are times when the light feels obscured to us when our child is being especially difficult, having tantrums, defying us, or in deep depression. Gerald Jampolsky talks about how it feels as if a dark lamp shade covers the internal light of our child. Our job is to remember the light exists no matter how obscured, to focus on the God within rather than the behavior that is pushing all our buttons or the many traumas or crises which can consume us.

When our child pushes our buttons, we know it is something within us that needs healing. It is some belief we hold, some thought we cherish which causes us to react negatively. We may be feeling ashamed that our child is struggling. We may feel that others see us as bad or ineffective parents. We also make assumptions about our child’s behavior based on our past experiences. Often our assumptions lead to misunderstandings. We may feel our child is being deliberately disrespectful and take it personally when they are actually feeling confused or fearful or reacting to our control. Our thoughts keep us agonizing over past stressful events and worrying about the future so that we never totally appreciate the present moment which is all that really exists. Loving what is and being present with our child allows God’s love to flow from within to an acceptance of the joy of life.

Helen Keller felt a living and sustaining God within her through all her struggles to transcend her extraordinary limitations. Can we do this for ourselves and for our children?